did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
