Already got asked if we're dating
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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