So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
