Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Randomize