found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
