I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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