I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
