god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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