you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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