Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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