you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
