it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
