And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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