were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
