Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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