i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
