The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
