summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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