Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
