he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
