Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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