Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
