Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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