playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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