i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
