her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I would ride that face into the sunset
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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