i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
