He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
