jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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