So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
