Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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