South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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