I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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