I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
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