I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
