Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I want a musical about memes.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
