Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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