I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
It's Friday. Sex?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Randomize
