ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
