There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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