whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
