Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
We need a shit load of segways right now
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
