How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
