I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
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