Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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