You're a womanizer and a bitch.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
