got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
