My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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