Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
He shit in the fireplace
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
