hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
