im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
