turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
