we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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